Posted by: martinworster | April 6, 2003

10. COMING IN AT NUMBER 10 POP PICKERS

My Dick’s T – or Dick’s cheese Bar as it’s proverbially known – chart, resigning from my job, a catalogue of DJ errors and my new riverside apartment…

 Things have reached an all time low. I’ve even started to refer to females as chicks. ‘Yo bro, check out that nice chick over there!’ Yup, its getting bad. In fact the female situation hasn’t been that great for me. I kind of thought that I might meet someone nice, perhaps even perhaps the lucky girl – sorry chick – who might be the future Mrs Worster. But no. It looks unlikely. I remember writing a few Romantic updates in my previous diary entries which might have made me look a bit sad – ie chasing around after young Swedes in a Garry Glitter meets John Leslie fashion. Let’s just say at the moment it’s all quiet on that front.

Here’s my Dick’s T Bar chart:

Justin Timberlake – Like I Love You
Bushwacka – Love Story vs Finally
Punjabi MC
Jurassic 5 – Concrete Jungle
Billy Jean – Bushwacka mix
Q Tip vs Michael Jackson – Don’t Breath and Stop Till You Get Enough
Anything else Michael Jackson
DJ Sneak – Fix My Sink
Spandau Ballet – Gold (Extended 12 inch mix)
Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger
Kiss vs Madonna (French bootleg)
Human League – Don’t You Want Me
Steelers Wheel – Stuck In The Middle With You
Van Morrison – Brown Eyed Girl
Thomas Bangalter and DJ Falcon – So Much Love To Give
The Stapleton Sisters – I’ll Take You There
Barry White – My First, My Last, My Everything
LK
Rolling Stones – Brown Sugar bootleg
Ten CC – Dreadlock Holiday
Bob Marley – anything

Whilst I’m in chart mode I might as well give you a brief run down on my catalogue of DJ errors to date:

1. Turning the main volume down as someone was talking to me and not hearing the whole club was quiet for a minute as my monitor was blaring. Only realised when I saw the grimacing mob.
2. Wrong speed – easy to do, happened a no of times.
3. Record ending without another one lined up. Also happened a number of times, normally when I have a female distraction.
4. Jumping CD as I take a wee so have to run back across crowded club with a red face and a stutter just like the stuck CD.
5. Wrong mix. Easy to do. Normally involving a four minute ambient intro which leaves the crowd, errm, wondering and then wandering!
6. Record being jumped by someone I talked to. Also happened more than once. Also normally involving a guilty female accomplice.

So the most pressing news is that I’ve resigned from my job at Dicks T. Well cut down to three nights a week as it was only a matter of time before I thumped the next annoying tourist who asked for Kylie / shouted drunkenly / was rude / generally pissed me off / whatever. The late nights were getting in the way of my boarding and I want to focus on other things, especially exploring the region. So far in the last week I’ve been to Morzine (wicked snowpark, it’s official I can now do 360s) and Verbier (lovely, expensive, incredibly picturesque). There’s still plenty left to see round here as its such a hub of Europe and I love it.

I’ve also moved into a new apartment with my buddy Paul, Dicks’ former bouncer. Let me tell you it’s a gaff and a half. Lovely and clean, spacious, central, right next to a lovely Alpine river which I listen to at night (someone said to me doesn’t it make you want to go to the toilet listening to flowing water, no, I retorted, I also used to live near a motorway but it never made me want to drive), balcony overlooking Mont Blanc. We’ve had a right touch and I’m very happy as I dubbed the last place I lived Chateau Shithole so you can guess what it was like. Merdehole! It also makes a calming change from my old London view and noise – police sirens, fighting cats, arguing couples, bangs sounding like guns and the tortured howlings of the nutter who lived down the road.

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