Posted by: martinworster | June 6, 2003

15. IT IS TIME TO GO

Powder junkies of the world unite, jumping off a mountain with a parachute, closing one chapter whilst another opens and looking forward to two months in the smoke…would the last person to leave Chamonix please turn out the lights.

 

I met a nice girl the other day called Florentina (Dutch and 20). I met her about a week later and she’s was impressed that I remembered her name. She tried to hide the disapointment on her face when I told her that it helped that a Florentina is also the name of my favourite Pizza at good old Pizza Express (gosh I’ve missed that and a proper curry). Anyway I asked her out but she told me she’d tried going out with an older guy before and it didn’t work. Imagine my dismay when I saw next week looking very ‘friendly’ with a bloke at least twice my age. Like the good old ex-journalist I am I made my excuses and left. That’s such a lie when I read that in the News of The World (I’ve missed that too). Just as the two ex-soap star lesbians brought out the bowl of cocaine ‘we made our excuses and left’. ‘Our dossier is on its way to the police’. Like hell they made their excuses and left.

Oh dear just had a terrible day on the mountains. It had snowed and the conditions were lovely so everything was cool until the final run when my good friend Charlotte from the Sapinere Hotel followed into the snowpark and proceeded to snap her wrist on a jump. Badly. She’d done it before earlier in the season but this was worse. Cue going to hospital and watching her get off her face on morphine. Then an operation with three pins in her wrist and a day to recover before it was Easy Jet back to Liverpool.

In fact I must mention the Sapinere Hotel, it’s a great place and I know all the staff there who are all wicked. It was funny when I had Jo, Fran and Natasha out who were staying there and thought I was a superstar as I knew them all. It was just coincidence. They could have stayed anywhere else and it would have been a different story. Anyway I have to mention them coming out as I had one of the best weeks with them. In fact Jo returned a week ago with her friend Loz and I had one of the best weekends ever with them.

Being a glutton for punishment, I also tried paraponting – ie jumping off the top of the mountain with a parachute meets handglider type contraption. Obviously in tandem with someone who knows what they’re doing – I’m not mad (check out pix). It didn’t help that I’m afraid of heights. So we jumped off Brevant and as soon as we were airborn my pilot told me that the wind thermals have the same motion as the sea and some people get sea sick. Great I thought, I’m afraid of heights and I suffer from seasickness I should enjoy this ride. Visibility was great and soon Chamonix was 4,000 feet below me and the only thing seperating me from a huge plummet was a thin 4 Euro metal carabena. I clung on for dear life. It made me laugh that you had to wear a helmet. Like that’s going to help after a huge freefall. It’s the same sort of empty tokenism that makes you wear seatbelts on airplanes. So the pilot asked whether I wanted to go ‘freestyle’. Being gnarly and masochistic I said yet. We started to spin round, pulling some G’s as I became horizontal with Chamonix a little spec below me. How my breakfast didn’t pop up I don’t know. Well I’ve ticked that one of the experience list and put it in the box marked ‘won’t try again’.

Time is fast running out and I am back in the UK as of May 3rd and available for appointments. It’s been one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve met lots of amazing and lovely people, many of whom I will keep in touch with. I’ve found a lovely place where I feel very comfortable and not sure how I will cope with being away from the mountains but in the same breath I am looking forward to London for two months before I head off to Barcelona. See you soon.

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