Posted by: martinworster | March 8, 2004


Annoying Catalans, aggressive driving, Chicks from Kiev, not much else

Of course living here, the place is full of Latin lovelies. It’s wall to wall Jennifer Lopez / Eva Mendes / Shakira / Christina Aguilera types with that fiery temperament and simmering beauty. This is also true of the men but obviously for me is more applicable to their temperaments.

Driving is a nightmare. They overtake everywhere for no reason. Even in a traffic jam on an auto-pista and you’re thinking, ‘big boy Carlos, you got one car ahead of me.’ There’s also the horn problem as in they all beep at nothing. All together. A cacophony of horns solving nothing, only making matters worse in a self-perpetuating horny inferno.

One time, I had picked my parents up from the airport and taken them to their hotel. As I was parking alone below my roof rack got caught on the car park roof accompanied by a horrible noise and some vehicle damage. The Catalan guy behind me starts to beep and shout. I’m having a bit of a nightmare and he thinks its going to help, total twat. I would have totally twatted him but thought it would be bad as my parents had just arrived. It wouldn’t have been too cool in their first hours in BCN. ‘Hey mum, welcome to Spain’ said through a fat, bloodly lip minus a few teeth.

Girls. Yup, time to talk about them. It was funny the other day as I met a girl from the Ukraine. She was actually from Kiev.
‘So you’re a chick from Kiev now you live in Barcelona’, I asked.
‘Yes, why? she inquired.
‘Well when you lived at home did that make you a Chicken Kiev?’

Oh dear, she didn’t laugh either.


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