Posted by: martinworster | December 8, 2004


Come on the Chels…We are the Chelce…Chavs vs Catalans in Ramblas Showdown…Chelsea smile

 We were recently invaded by Chelsea fans and it was not a nice experience. I thought I would be cheering for the blues in the first leg of the Chelsea vs Barcelona tie as it had really turned into a Premier League vs La Liga fixture and of course I was gonna root for the Landan team, na wa I mean mate? The first leg was in Barca. Tickets had sold out so I thought I would make do with a boozer off La Ramblas with my friend Susan for the authentic football experience.

The place was packed as a shaven head geezer saddled up to me at the bar.
“Why aren’t you at the ground, couldn’t you get tickets?” I enquired.
“I’m banned mate,” he replied.
“There’s loads of Millwall ear tonight, wiv knives, dan the road in a bar,” he continued. “Fink there lookin for me. Got any yeo?”
Great I thought. Guilty by association means they’ll treat me as one of you and tonight could turn into a real Chelsea Smile as I subtly moved away.

The place was heaving with a lot similar shaven head thug lovin types. Susan was in for a real English football treat. In fact it was difficult to see the game as the crowd in the bar swirled around. Little pockets of trouble would flair up. There was even a Lancashire Chelsea supporters club: ‘Ey Ooop The Blues’

There was a group of Londoners with a drunk girlfriend who got talking to another group of Blues. This pissed off her boyfriend who squared up. ‘Wanna row? Wanna raw?’ he shouted. I have never seen a face turn so menacing as his neck muscles tensed, his face curled up and his eyes glazed over. The promise of violence fueled by cocaine was obviously overwhelming. Better than sex. The two groups swayed at each other, hands in the air, pushing. I had to get Susan in a corner to stop her being trampled over. Amazingly it didn’t actually flip into an all out riot. Not sure how. Oh yeah, Chelsea went through but on that night I didn’t really watch the game, football was just a sideshow.


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