Posted by: martinworster | August 13, 2007

66. RAD ASS SHIRT

Sick shirt, doooood.

People out here seem like to comment on the clothes you’re wearing. Or at least they do with me, and I don’t think it’s because I wear particularly cool clothes. In fact I think the surf look I have been aspiring too for nearly twenty years is looking a tad passé. Especially considering how living in Surf City I look like every other Rad Chav and his bro.

I was paying for pizza at Caesars when I noticed the spotty male post-teen shop assistant staring at a spot just above my forehead. I thought he might have a focus problem. Or maybe I had something in my hair that I shouldn’t have. Moments passed.

“Sick.” He said in a slow West Coast drawl whilst nodding slowly. Sick I thought, and ran my hands through my hair. Perhaps I was having a Something About Mary moment where sperm had been replaced with sick. Something About Martin.

“Sick shades bro.” the spotty dude continued. My worries were alleviated.
“Oh, yes, thanks…Dude.” I added with an incredulous look. I was going to reply with a ‘bro’ too but thought that would be over familiar. Out here it’s ‘bro’ this and ‘bro’ that. Some dudes even say ‘Bra’ which I can’t work out. Coming from London I’m used to ‘Bruv’. ‘Bra’ sounds like, well bra – fitting for the tits who use this type of greeting.

“Where did you get them?” He asked.
“Oh, Jacks on Main Street. Bruv.” He looked confused.
“18 Dollars and 68 cents, please”
“No worries geezer.”
He frowned as I exited.

I walked out the door hugging my large Vegetarian with extra Jalapenos. Strange. Maybe he was angling for a tip? The only tip I’d give him was to use Bruv instead of Bra.

“Rad Ass shirt man,” A Mexican looking plump lady said to me whilst I walked around the LA Tofu Festival wearing my Beatles circa Revolver T-Shirt.
“Thanks sis” I asked. I didn’t get a chance to further our conversation as she walked off. I thought we could debate who was the better song writer, Lennon or Mcartney, or what her favourite album was. It wasn’t to be. Let it be.

It’s happened on numerous other occasions and allows for funny if random exchanges. Is it just an American thing? I don’t recall it ever happening in the UK or Europe. I am going to get a T-Shirt emblazoned with the slogan: “YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL ME I’M WEARING A RAD ASS, SICK SHIRT, BRA / SIS”

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