Posted by: martinworster | November 13, 2007

82. GERM PHOBIA

Avoiding infected door handles whilst leaving the ‘restroom’

I’ve taken to using a piece of tissue when exiting bathrooms so as not to pick up germs. I know, I’m really starting to pick up some bad habits whilst living here. In California, most establishments have special bins by the toilet doors just for this purpose, so that bacteria paranoic hyperchondriacs can discard their infected tissue and walk out with pristine hands.

I don’t always do this. It depends on what mood I’m in. If I’m feeling reckless I may not even wash my hands after a piss and then brazenly open the door as flesh touches metal. Or maybe I’ve forgotten about germs and then when I get to the door, I can’t be bothered to go back and get some tissue, so I try and open the door at the top part of the handle, using my little finger, somehow believing that this part is less touched ergo less infected.

It’s all so silly really. I really hate to admit I’m adopting local customs and mores, especially ones that are so ridiculous. At the supermarkets here they have a bottle of disinfectant as you walk in by the trolleys so you can wipe the handles down. Seriously. Where does it all end? Why don’t they just issue zip up, air tight, germ free full body suits you can use as you leave your house so nothing icky enters your system?

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