Posted by: martinworster | December 31, 2008

146. IDENTITY THEFT!

Stop thief! Bring me back!

There’s lots of adverts on TV here (and I’m sure it’s the same in the UK) offering ‘Identity Theft’ protection services. Similarly with credit cards and other financial services you can pay an extra montly fee so you don’t have to worry about ‘Identity Theft’.
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It’s absurd. As if there wasn’t enough faux things to worry about. What is identity theft? I imagine a thief running down the road – with a copy of me! The very language of the phrase is designed to invoke fear in the gourmless. The phrase suggests our identity is bound up in a mix of numbers – credit card numbers, account numbers, passport, driving licence, social security. If we fall victim to it we end up an empty husk of a human.

“Help! Someone just stole my identity. They took everything – my soul, my face, my personality, they even took my accent – they left nothing! I have no identity. I am nothing!”

Adverts promise 24 hour protection, monitoring all the worlds largest databases. A veritable fortress against the hoardes of specialist identity crooks who skulk around networks and the dark corridors of the internet.

I think it’s all just a big con. Creating fear as another way of extracting extra revenue. If someone does steal my credit identity that means the banks security isn’t good enough and I shouldn’t be penalised for it. We certainly shouldn’t have to pay extra to be protected. Rip of USA (and Britain).

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Responses

  1. Oh, well said! I enjoyed this piece today. Thank you for the laugh. Although, perhaps by the time you get this I won’t be me anymore, someone else will be. Scary thought that this moment may not be mine for long. I’ll cherish it while I can. You’d better too! =)

  2. Yes – very well said. I am fed up of advertisers trying to make me scared.

  3. Yep, blatant way of saying We (The Bank) werent to blame. The Thief didnt get round our systems, they “stole YOUR identity” classic misappropriation of blame on the customer. W****ERS…


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