Posted by: martinworster | March 17, 2009


The appearance of vermin causes a dilemma of epic proportions: of mice and woman…

copy-of-_dsc0172The sound of scuttling and scratching coming from underneath the dishwasher presented me with an ethical dilemma of epic proportions. The seriousness of the situation was confounded when I glimpsed a small mouse running behind the fridge. We were being overrun with vermin. Being a non-violent pacifist ethical ultra strict vegetarian I felt a rising bilge of sick from my stomach. I believe it is wrong to kill any living being or creature. I don’t know why. It’s not for religious reasons, unless I AM of course the son of Buddha. I just think it’s not right. Every creature has a right to live – we don’t have a right to take away that right.

I’ve had to spit out flies from my mouth when riding my bike along country roads, praying to a God I don’t believe in that the insect will live. The crunch of a snails shell from underfoot stepped on accidentally whilst walking on a darkened path makes me shudder. I suffered post traumatic stress disorder when a kamikaze cat decided to throw itself under my car on a Hertfordshire country road. Whilst driving to Chamonix a bird decided to commit suicide by flying right into my car, getting stuck in the grill of my jeep. By the time I reached the Alps and dared to look it was practically cooked. Shame I was a vegetarian – it looked very tender.

A family of mice in my kitchen presents a major problem. Of course, it is unhygienic and I have two infants in the house. We can’t have the mice rummaging in our food at night, crapping and spreading diseases. The only option is a mousetrap. I will have to swallow my ethics and be complicit in their bloody murder – however I will leave the final act to my wife. I could not pull the trigger or wave the dagger. Or maybe it will be poison, perhaps a less gruesome sight in case one of my sons finds the corpse in the morning. In fact they have new devices I’ve seen where you don’t see anything as the mice crawls into their tomb in search of food and finds death instead. Out of sight – but not out of mind.


  1. Have you thought of a humane mousetrap?

  2. Daft Hippie!

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