Posted by: martinworster | April 13, 2009

155. LITTLE ENGLAND

copy-of-_dsc0090I’ve really started to enjoy eating Branston Pickle whilst living out here. Similarly, I’m eating more custard, HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Baked Beans all washed down with gallons of scalding hot builders tea. It’s true to say that when you don’t live in England you become more English. These little culinary treats remind me of home – even though I probably didn’t eat them when living there. It’s a little odd. Living in another country and culture you are constantly reminded of your national identity. I’ve even started watching more soccer, I mean, football. Ingerrland, Ingerrland, Ingerrrlaaand…

It’s like when you go to dreadful European resorts where the English holiday and try and re-create a Little England away from home. Pubs serving Sunday roasts every day, fish and chips, Yorkshire puddings, Tetleys, Boddingtons, Bass, Walkers Salt and Vinegar crisps, all eaten whilst watching Only Fools And Horses on endless repeat. Rodney You Plonker! Rodney You Plonker!

“Australia,” locals commonly say when trying to guess where I’m from or to locate my accent.
“Hmm, close, but wrong side of the world,” I reply, sounding curt but not meaning too.
“Oh so you’re British?”
“Hmmm, don’t even go there..”

British. What does that mean? I’m a direct descendent of the indigenous and warrior like Britons who once walked our green and pleasant land? Mixed with equal doses of Celt, Saxe, Dane and Norman. I do have a British passport but culturally I really feel more English. How would a Welsh, Northern Irish or Scotsman being referred to as British? Most would hate it I imagine. American’s do love to lump us all together under the umbrella term ‘British’.

‘Oh, I love your British accent, it’s so cute,’

A British accent? Mine’s North London / Home Counties / southern bland, go and talk to a Geordie, Cockney or Scouser and see if you’d describe their accent as cute. That’s if you could understand them.

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